He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
