ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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