I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
