You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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