Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
