Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
