it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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