The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My vagina just recognized that song.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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