i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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