I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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