Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
