That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
