There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
