I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
