I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Everyone says I win the strip club
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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