Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
