the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
