What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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