Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The power of my boobs compel you
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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