he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
