naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
