I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize