I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
