Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I understand Curling. That high.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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