Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
