Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Are we still banned from the library?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
