Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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