Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
