I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
