turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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