I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
