She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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