I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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