we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
