Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
