Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
A+ Viking dick
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
