We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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