Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
