But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
