My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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