is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
