Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
