I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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