I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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