And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize