is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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