doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize