dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
