There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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