thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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