so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize