I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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