Michael Bay diarrhea
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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