Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
