Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Welp...herpes.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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