we have pet lesbian snakes
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
