This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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