I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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