my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize