What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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