I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
