I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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