I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
