Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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