Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And my parents said I crawled through the house
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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