think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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