You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
